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Monday, October 21, 2013

Just Tired

So I've been writing about some difficult times in our house lately.  Carolyn has been having some difficult behaviors, which I think are likely due to her being overtired and exposed to more rude behavior through school and playmates.  And the emotional difficulties of last week, combined with a heavier than usual work schedule are weighing on me.  I really would like to book a vacation and just take even a few days off from life.  But the reality is, you never get that chance as a parent, especially not in the beginning of the school year.  It simply is that parenting is hard and exhausting, especially if you do it the right way.  And by that I refer to our minimal use of technology and TV.  James asked countless times today to watch TV and/or play on the tablet.  It would be so easy to plop him down on there most of the day.  But that's not what I want him to experience.  So I exhaust myself by sitting with him and doing preschool activities, where I do have to prod him to stay focused.  But he can now identify half of the alphabet.  We tried playing Simon Says today, but he didn't quite get that he should not do things when I didn't say simon says.  He thought it was fun anyway.

We even took a short break on Saturday, sending the kids over to Jon's after Carolyn's soccer game.  We went to Panera for dinner and sit and talked like adults.  But I knew we needed to go pick up the kids so I could scan my paperwork for the new job and get them to bed.  So I never fully relaxed.  And now I'm just tired, mostly emotionally though.  I don't know how to help Carolyn stop these behaviors.  She had more trouble today, this time not listening at gymnastics.  And tonight she had to change her underwear twice.  I'm thinking we may visit the doctor as these issues are becoming quite concerning.  She's 5.5, she shouldn't be having issues with staying dry during the day.  But I don't know how to help her, anyone have any ideas?  I don't want to have to pull her from afternoon gymnastics, but if she needs that rest time, I might just have to.  There's only 2 weeks left of soccer, so at least there will be more rest time on the weekends soon.  But I know then we'll have to withstand the barrage of wanting to play with friends when what she really needs is just some time to build legos, draw/color, or read.  Anyone else facing the same issues?  Anyone else just exhausted being a parent? 

I'm hoping tomorrow brings a better day with better behaved children.  Otherwise I may just turn on the technology in the afternoon and hide in my room.  I know one afternoon wouldn't kill them anyway and this weather is too cold too soon!

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