End of 2013

This has certainly been a crazy year!  Jon and I both turned 30, Carolyn started school, and Jon started a new job.  I've looked now and then at different career opportunities.  I learned how to sew and kind of how to knit.  I'm looking forward to some new sewing projects in the next year, hopefully a fun party dress for Carolyn.  Or perhaps just a fancy skirt.  We will see where life takes us.  I reflect on life frequently throughout the year, so I don't feel the need to reflect a ton tonight.  But I have been thinking about a few things I plan to change as we head into 2014.

I want to focus more on the here and now.  I want to stop focusing on what we don't have (money to fix the roof) and start thinking about what we do have (too long to list).  I need to stop looking for jobs that I'm not really sure I want.  I love being home with the kids, and until James is in school at least half-day, I need to be happy with the job I have.  I can always start putting in tutoring hours if I still have time left in the week.  I always think about plans to do with the kids - crafts mainly, but never get around to it.  So I think rather than spending lots of time baking things we shouldn't be eating, I'm going to do more craft projects with James.  We'll keep reading tons of books, and now that we have tons of blocks and big train set we will have that to play with as well.  I'm going to put down the computer unless I'm billing hours while the kids are awake.  I need to stop checking email when I don't have time to work.  Nothing is really that important.

Two main things I am going to do for me:
1.  No sugar in January.  This does not include honey and maple syrup.  But does include ice cream and anything else with sugar in it.  After the end of this year, my body needs this.  I may use this month to try out some Paleo recipes that make yummy things without processed sugar.

2.  Get back to lifting.  I am going to choose a lifting program and stick with it.  I do need to decide which one to go with.  But I am going to start tomorrow.  It's going to hurt at first.  But I am going to commit to lifting at least once every 3 days.  I need to do this both physically and mentally.  And once we get light back in the evenings I will be walking again in the evenings.  No more soccer, so no more scheduling around that night.  I'm going to lift in a way that feels good - similar to a crossfit type style.

I'm ready for what 2014 is going to bring.  I have a great family and I look forward to bringing the stress level of the house down as we simply learn to live with what we have.  I know that God will provide us with what we need when we need it.  And deep in my heart I know He wouldn't want me to be distracted from James when he needs me to be here with him.  I'm excited for the adventures that lie ahead!

Dreams

On my way to soccer about 2 weeks ago I heard some story about people winning the lottery.  And since I Was in the car, my mind began to wander.  What would I do if I won the lottery?  I began to dream of what things could be like.  And mostly, I thought about how things could be easier if we didn't have to worry about money.  But a dream of what could be also started to form.  And even with Christmas, my mind hasn't been able to let go of this dream.  The tough part is, it really won't happen unless we do win the lottery.  And to win, we would have to play first.  I'm hoping that by writing out this dream it will let my mind rest a little.  Because for now, we are prioritizing home repairs so we clearly don't have money for anything more than where we already are.

If I were to win the lottery, I would rebuild our house.  There are so many problems with what the previous owner did to fix things that I often think about just tearing down the house.  But in doing so, we would build a larger house.  I would get the kitchen, media room, exercise room, and huge family room I've always wanted.  But we would also need some more bedrooms.  Because the biggest part of my dream is to adopt 2-3 more children.  I would look for siblings that are younger than my kids but hopefully 2yrs or older.  I know these kids aren't adopted as often, and we could bypass that up every couple of hours infant stage.  I would be able to stop working, so I could spend my day reading these kids books and we would have the funds to enroll them in a few activities as well.  We would fully fund college accounts for all kids.  And I would know that a few more kids are getting what they really need.

With the other money we would buy 2 new cars - 1 electric, 1 hybrid.  We would pay off mortgages for a few people around us, to help their lives be a bit easier.  We could change to a 100% organic, grass-fed diet and grow a large garden since I would put in space in the new house to start plants inside each year.  We'd likely have enough produce to donate to the food pantry and/or some other families.  We could donate some money to schools to help with tutoring programs, counseling programs, and to expand offering to gifted students as well.  We would of course fully research anywhere we donate money to be sure it's being spent appropriately and not paying salaries of administrators.

But none of this will happen since we don't play the lottery.  I just don't understand why this dream keeps coming to the front of my mind since it's so far fetched.  I would really like to have a big family, but we just can't afford more than we have right now.

So back to reality!  Thanks for dreaming with me for a while.