No progress

After a big start to the week, the rest has been pretty disappointing.  I haven't heard back from the contractor (emailed this morning) since Monday.  I had been naively hoping they would have been able to start the demolition by the end of this week.  I guess this is why he put Oct 22 on the contract even though he thinks the reconstruction will only take 2.5 weeks.  At this point, though, it looks like we'll be pushing even that date unless they get started soon.  It's amazing to me how incredibly slow this process has taken.  If there weren't all of these delays, we could have been home by now.

James continues to struggle a bit with everything.  He is having a hard time missing a lot of the time we used to just snuggle and read.  And I'm not sure what he dreams about and/or thinks about as he tries to go to bed at night.  He's been doing better with nap time the last couple days, snuggling with me probably helps that.  But no matter how tired he is (last night it was 8 before the layed down) it takes 1-1.5 hours for him to go to bed.  Given that I had a nightmare about another tree falling on the house last night, I wouldn't be surprised if that is happening to him as well.  There's nothing we can do for him either other than offer lots of extra hugs.  It seems that he has a meltdown each down around lunch time, although putting him into his bed when he starts the hitting/kicking seems to be working really well.  Yesterday I only had to do that once and then he came for snuggles instead.  I almost wonder if the jostling of being put onto the bed helps him reset himself.  But I'm optimistic that his recovery time in the middle of the day is getting quicker.

Carolyn is getting tired.  She had a meltdown yesterday about finding her hair scrunchie and rubber band for gymnastics.  Just stood and screamed for a good 15 minutes, when it was sitting on her bedside table.  Turns out she covered it up with something she put away while looking for the hair stuff.  She's never been great at finding things, but I can tell she's starting to get a bit run down.

I wish I could scoop both kids up and plop them in their own beds, tell them to sleep as long as they want and come into my room for snuggles and books in the morning.  Alas, it looks like it will be later than sooner for that one.  So for now, we'll go to the park by the house after school today, out for dinner, and then to the GBS football game tonight.  Tomorrow Carolyn will have soccer and then we'll relax and Jon's parents while doing laundry.  I think we need some time to just relax and this weekend will be just that.  Sunday is nothing, so we might even get to spend some time in the pool.  I really miss my kitchen right now, what I would give for a couple hours to bake some banana bread and chocolate chip cookies.

Thank you God for the continued support of those around us.  We had great opportunities for meals with others this week, including another neighbor.  I am looking forward to a chance to say thanks by having a celebration dinner once we are back in our house.  I know that this will all come together, help me to have the patience necessary as the work begins.  Help me and Jon to continue to have the patience necessary to help the kids through this time.  Give us the wisdom necessary to respond to our children in the way needed at each turn.  Please bless our time today at MOPs!  All is well and God is in control.

Dreams

On my way to soccer about 2 weeks ago I heard some story about people winning the lottery.  And since I Was in the car, my mind began to wander.  What would I do if I won the lottery?  I began to dream of what things could be like.  And mostly, I thought about how things could be easier if we didn't have to worry about money.  But a dream of what could be also started to form.  And even with Christmas, my mind hasn't been able to let go of this dream.  The tough part is, it really won't happen unless we do win the lottery.  And to win, we would have to play first.  I'm hoping that by writing out this dream it will let my mind rest a little.  Because for now, we are prioritizing home repairs so we clearly don't have money for anything more than where we already are.

If I were to win the lottery, I would rebuild our house.  There are so many problems with what the previous owner did to fix things that I often think about just tearing down the house.  But in doing so, we would build a larger house.  I would get the kitchen, media room, exercise room, and huge family room I've always wanted.  But we would also need some more bedrooms.  Because the biggest part of my dream is to adopt 2-3 more children.  I would look for siblings that are younger than my kids but hopefully 2yrs or older.  I know these kids aren't adopted as often, and we could bypass that up every couple of hours infant stage.  I would be able to stop working, so I could spend my day reading these kids books and we would have the funds to enroll them in a few activities as well.  We would fully fund college accounts for all kids.  And I would know that a few more kids are getting what they really need.

With the other money we would buy 2 new cars - 1 electric, 1 hybrid.  We would pay off mortgages for a few people around us, to help their lives be a bit easier.  We could change to a 100% organic, grass-fed diet and grow a large garden since I would put in space in the new house to start plants inside each year.  We'd likely have enough produce to donate to the food pantry and/or some other families.  We could donate some money to schools to help with tutoring programs, counseling programs, and to expand offering to gifted students as well.  We would of course fully research anywhere we donate money to be sure it's being spent appropriately and not paying salaries of administrators.

But none of this will happen since we don't play the lottery.  I just don't understand why this dream keeps coming to the front of my mind since it's so far fetched.  I would really like to have a big family, but we just can't afford more than we have right now.

So back to reality!  Thanks for dreaming with me for a while.