Thankful for my Jobs, PARCC update

We had a quiet afternoon yesterday, since none of the neighborhood kids were around for a change.  I cooked pizzas while Carolyn drew at the table.  James joined her for a while and then drifted to the couch.  He looked exhausted, but it was a little strange that he just curled up on the couch under blankets without anything to do.  I had a feeling he was getting sick.  So when he woke up this morning still feeling crummy I didn't hesitate to take his temperature.  But at 98.3, there was no fever so I put him on the bus.  Around 11 I had finished enough of my work to go for a run.  Just over halfway my phone rang and it was the school nurse.  James' fever was 100.5 so I needed to pick him up.

As I made my way home I felt terrible that he had to wait an extra 20 minutes for me to get him.  He probably was feeling terrible and because I was out for a run he had to wait longer.  But I had figured he made it long enough that he wasn't coming home.  When I got there to bring him home, the nurse relayed their earlier conversation.  Since this was the first time James came home from school, the nurse asked if he thought I would be home.  To that he replied "my mom is always home."  The nurse chuckled and said she thought I might sneak out occasionally.  How ironic I was out for a run at that time.

I brought James home and tucked him into bed.  He watched tv for a while as I ate lunch.  He asked for his lunch but didn't eat it.  Once he fell asleep I snuck out of the room to finish my work for the day.  And this is why I am so thankful for my job.  I was able over the next 3 hours to juggle getting work done while caring for James.  He got to sleep in our bed, take a bath, and then lay on me without anyone being stressed.  There were no arrangements to make and he didn't feel like a burden.  He knew that once that fever appeared, I would be there.  As frustrated as I've been with the crazy hours I've been working (30 this week), the flexibility I have is unmatched.

I love the extra snuggle time I get to have with both kids.  I am so thankful that I can make extra income to help our family without having to sacrifice the level of care the kids receive.  So the next time I start to think about working outside of the home again, I just need to come back to this post.  I will remember that God led me to these positions for a reason.  And until the kids are old enough to not want extra snuggles when they are sick, this is where I need to be.

As an update to my earlier post about refusing the PARCC, I am happy to report that so far the school has been wonderful.  During the practice tests, Carolyn has been allowed to simply read a book.  We plan to visit the public library over spring break next week to ensure she has enough to read during the testing windows the week after break.  Once the letter was delivered I didn't even hear back from anyone at the school.  So looks like we will have no issues.

For those interested, I also updated my other blog tonight as well.

Heartache for Local Families

I feel like we are constantly bombarded with ways to give and serve internationally.  Or when there is a big disaster, we're asked to give to help massive efforts for those displaced.  To apply for my new teaching certification in 2 new states, I had to get fingerprinted (again).  Since we live in the unincorporated part of town, this means I had to go to the Lake County Sheriff, located in Waukegan.  So I drove through parts of North Chicago and Waukegan to get there and get back.

As I drove through these towns, my heart just ached.  The number of run down buildings with boarded up windows was sad to see.  Many of these weren't even businesses, they were homes.  And my response is, who is helping these people?  In particular, who is helping these kids?  How do we expect these kids to make a better life for themselves if we don't do anything to help?  And how long are we going to ignore the needs of the people right around us to serve others thousands of miles away?

So I sat down this afternoon to find a place to start giving to.  It took me about 15 seconds to find a charity in Lake County that gives to places that serve these communities.  I likely need to spend some more time researching these charities to ensure a large percent of the donations go to actually help people.  But I've found that the smaller the organization (ie local,) the less administrative costs.  So I'm going to look at http://www.helpthemtohope.com/donors.html as a potential place for us to being donating regularly.

Those of you that go on big missions trips, that's awesome if that's what God has laid on your heart.  But for those that don't feel called to that, for those that don't feel they have funds to go on a big trip, what if you took the time to find a local charity?  What if you took $10-20/month and donated it locally?  Could you contribute more than that to give another family hope for the future?

My next step is to find places where we can volunteer regularly.  I know I have skills that could be a blessing to others in my background as a math and physics teacher.  In this season of thinking about the sacrifice that Jesus made for all of us, I am going to consider the sacrifice of time that I can contribute to help those that need it the most that are practically right in my backyard.  I challenge to find something to contribute to locally on a regular basis.

Happy Birthday Mom!

This is the hardest day of the year for me.  It is getting a little easier as the years go by, but is still a lasting reminder of just how much my mom has missed.  I know she sees everything from up on heaven.  And I'm sure she's having a delightful party with her mom, dad, and grandparents up there today.  But I didn't get to hug her at my wedding.  She didn't get to snuggle my little ones when they were born.  And I will never again get to hug her.  She isn't on the other end of the phone when I need motherly advice.  She'll never get to attend any of

the kids' sports events.  But I have to be comforted knowing I will get to see her again once God calls me home, hopefully not for many more years.  The sun is shining today and I like to think that it's her looking down and saying how proud she is of our children and all the people they are becoming.  We had a cake today to celebrate her birthday even though she couldn't be here.  She liked to celebrate, so I know she smiled as I had cake and ice cream with the kids this afternoon.

Have you heard of TRX?  I took a class with it at Park Center one time when I had free classes and it wiped me out.  Seriously the hardest workout I've ever done, short of plain running.  Anyway, I found a cheaper version on Amazon (TRX wants $150 for a few straps?!) and at $35, ordered it.  Yesterday I tried out a workout I found online, getting a feel for what everything should look like.  This morning I went through and timed how many reps fit into the time suggested.  I prefer to count reps rather than look at a timer.  I know it's all mental, but it's good to know what works best for me.  Are you a time or reps person?  Here's what I did today.  This morning, this afternoon
Chest Press - 7, 8
Low Row - 10, 11
Squat - 13, 14
Burpee - 6/6, 7/7
Deltoid Fly - 8, 9
Power Pull - 10/10, 11/11
Sumo Squats - 13, 14
Hamstring Curl - 13, 14
Lunge - 10/10, 11/11
Crunches - 12, 13

My abs are feeling it the most right now which sounds great to me.  I'm going to try and keep increasing the reps until each exercise is at a maximum.  What's awesome is my heartrate even gets going with this.  So until the weather is warm enough to sustain getting out there regularly, I will switch between this and kettle bells.  Complete body work out in 10-12 minutes!

How to Make 1 Income Work

My goal here is not to feed into the debate of SAHM vs WM.  Every family needs to decide what is best for them.  But I do feel like there are a lot of women that wish they could stay at home but can't see how it could ever work.  Or may you are just getting married and thinking that when you have kids you would like to stay at home but can't imagine getting by on just 1 income.  Having lived it, I can tell that it is definitely possible.

What you have to decide is what sacrifices you are willing to make.  I've never been a Starbuck's person.  In fact, I hate the taste of coffee.  I've never been one to love eating out all the time, I prefer to know what's in my food.  I don't wear make-up as in high school my skin was super sensitive and I just never started doing it after that.  So these may be some areas to consider reducing your budget with.  We chose to cut back as much as possible.

One of the biggest things that helped us was the decision to take 1 year at a time.  We looked at our budget and our income when I got pregnant.  We knew that our house was purchased based on 1 income.  This is key if you are planning for the future as housing is going to be the biggest expense each month.  I tried to find some side jobs and as a former teaching was able to pick up some tutoring for extra money when the kids were tiny, but never worked much until they started school.

Once our first child was born, we said I would stay home for 1 year and then we would evaluate where we were financially.  Jon was only making around $40k/year before deductions at that point.  We had no car loans, but both had significant student loans.  But there were 2 major reasons why we decided to try me staying at home for a year.  First and foremost, it was what we both really wanted for our child.  We wanted one of us to be with her as much as possible.  It made sense for it to be me since I could then breastfeed, a huge savings for our budget.  Second, we looked at what I was making.  I was 25 when Carolyn was born and finishing my 3rd year of teaching.  I was making similar to Jon at around $40k.  By the time we considered paying for day care, gas, taxes, and work clothes expenses, the amount we would get to keep from my paycheck was pretty small.

So what did we give up?  We stopped going out to eat.  But who really enjoys going out to eat and wrestling a baby the whole time?  Once our contract ran out, we gave up cable.  We opted instead to use Redbox to rent movies, check them out from the library, or watch movies we already owned.  We shopped sales to reduce our grocery budget.  Along with meal planning, this made a large impact on our monthly expenses.  Jon packed lunch for work each day to keep our food expenses as low as possible.  Realistically, because we were quite young when our first child was born, we did not have an extravagant lifestyle so we didn't miss much of what we cut.  When it came to clothes, we graciously accepted all hand me downs available.  Especially when kids are tiny, they outgrow things so fast that most of what we received was nearly new.

Something nobody tells you when you're about to have a baby is that month to month, babies are cheap.  The first few years of life, when kids are most malleable, child care is most expensive, and you can have the most impact by staying home, that's when kids are the cheapest to stay at home with.  Babies don't need to take classes.  If you join a moms group, you can find playgroups to attend or park gatherings to get out of the house.  Going for a walk is good exercise and most little ones love it.  Once you've come out of the sleep-deprived coma of the first 2 months, you can even use your baby as a "weight" to combine bonding time and a work out routine.  Our kids loved it when would lift them over our chest (just not right after nursing).  The first 6 months there don't have to even be any additional food expenses.  If you breastfeed, that is all the baby needs.  And if you are home with the baby, you don't have to worry about pumping.  Our oldest had maybe 6 bottles while our youngest had none.  For the next 6 months, purchasing real food for the child to try is minimal.

My kids are now 6 and 8, our income has increased dramatically since those first few years.  One year we were less than $1k away from receiving the EIC on our taxes.  As the kids have grown, I have increased my work with 2 online companies.  Now that both kids are in school I find myself often working 5-6 hrs/day.  But because we've always done such a good job with our finances, my paycheck can fund all the things we gave up when the kids were tiny.  I love being home each day when the kids get home so they can just play.  And they would tell you the same thing.

So if you feel in your heart that you want to be home with your kids, know that you can make it work.  It might not always be easy and you will have to make some sacrifices, but you can make it work with some planning.  One thing when looking at your income to consider is how much less in taxes you will pay with an extra dependent and a significant reduction in income.  If you'd like ideas of things to cut, I'd love to help.  Start by writing down all your expenses for a couple months and I'm happy to take a look for you.

Parenting is Hard

This has been a bit of a different week.  We got our first real snowfall of the 2017, yay.  It is beautiful to look at while I am having my quiet time each morning.  And the kids are having a blast playing in the snow.  It helps that it's nice and warm.

Our front door is currently broken, so the kids have to ring the doorbell each day after school. Yesterday I went to answer it and one of our neighbors was with my kids.  Carolyn informed me he accidentally took the bus home and there was no one at his house.  I was a bit stunned and unsure what to do.  This boy is in second grade, it is March, and his first grade brother knew to stay at school.  I did not have a phone number to reach his parents.  Everyone came inside and I asked him if he had a phone number for either of his parents and he said no.  My kids worked on their after school routine as I tried to figure out what to do.  We've only been living here less than 3 months and we have interacted with this family only a few times.  After a little while I texted another number, who luckily had the mom's phone number.  I called only to get voice mail.  A few minutes later she called back and said she would be home in 30 minutes since she was at work.  Then she texted a few minutes later to say her husband would be home in 10 minutes.

While I sorted this out, I sent all the kids outside to play in the snow.  The boy did not have snowpants, so we dug out our extra pair we happen to have.  I sat down to fold some laundry, which happens to be just out of the line of sight of our swing set.  When I finished, I went to check on the kids and the neighbor was gone.  I asked my kids where he went, if he said what he was doing.  They boy said they didn't know and he hadn't said anything.  Then we saw the garage door open at his house and a car home.  But his backpack was still at our house and no one was anywhere to be found.  Carolyn and I took his stuff to him and the dad acted as if all of this was no big deal.  He informed me they have a key hidden in the backyard "in case something like this happens."  I informed him that his son did not know any phone numbers to call to get in touch with his parents.  He seemed surprised by this but not too concerned.  The mother later wrote of his going home, saying he's always been a bit of a wanderer.  Debriefing the whole situation last night I actually said to my husband "everyone does things their way, I'm glad we don't do it that way."

At floor hockey tonight I talked to a couple other moms with sons in the class.  One has a son in James' class and we're going to attempt a play date soon.  We all lamented how difficult it can be to stop siblings from fighting with each other.  They have a bit of a different experience with two boys that are 4 years apart compared with my kids.  Somewhere along the line I mentioned that we don't really watch tv other than sports and the one mom looked at my a bit stunned.  I talked a little about what I did when the kids were little and they seemed stressed just thinking about it.  But here's the thing, parenting is hard, and we all just choose what kind of hard we want to do.

I chose to have things really hard when the kids were little.  We stayed away from screens completely until Carolyn was about 3.  After that we slowly introduced some computer time and when sick we would let them watch some Curious George or other PBS shows.  I emphasized time at the park, we ran around in the basement, and we had lots of cuddle time to read books.  The kids cooked with me from a young age and I let them make messes with art supplies.  Most days were really exhausting, but I committed to limiting screen time because I knew in my gut it would pay off.  And honestly, I feel like we are already seeing the pay off.

In our house, we don't fight often about how much time the kids get playing Wii or PS4.  We don't often discuss what the kids would like to watch on tv.  There are no favorite shows because we just don't watch anything often enough.  Any behavior battles come from things seen at school or read about in books.  That seems to be much easier to combat.  Our kids are perfectly comfortable working a computer, chrome book, or iPad.  But they don't rely on these things to entertain them and that makes our house a happier place.  I got asked today how I get my kids to stay in their rooms until 7am on the weekends.  This was after I mentioned that they are in bed by 7:15pm most nights.  And honestly, I don't know why it works.  Perhaps because we started the rule from the time the kids were old enough to read their clocks.  Our kids need a lot of sleep, so we've always emphasized the importance of good rest.  I enjoy knowing that I'll get to stay in bed until 8 if we have nowhere to go.  I won't hear the tv blaring but I might hear a radio on after 7.  I might hear the kids playing together.  I might hear nothing because the kids have slept in or have chosen to stay in bed reading.  Or I might hear nothing because one or both kids are snuggled in with me to start the weekend off by relaxing.  That's just the way we've set things up.

Every house has to figure out what works best for them.  Once you figure out what works for you, try your best to be consistent.  Because, in the long run, that consistency is what your little one is craving.  Even when they resist, that resistance back from you is what they need.  Sure, some mornings I'm too tired to walk James back to his room so I let him come snuggled earlier, but then I usually get up later.  He knows that we value rest and he can count on us for snuggles when he needs to feel connected while resting.  Plus, I know he's growing up fast and these snuggle sessions will only last so much longer.  But I'll have shown him the importance of rest and hopefully, some day, that will help him to feel more peaceful.

For post 3 from my tough times blog, go here.

"Me Time" made me stressed out

We hear constant feedback as mothers about we should be sure to schedule "me time."  We're bombarded with how important it is to take time to do what we enjoy.  I feel for this idea, hook, line and sinker.  Settled into a new home and new community, with both kids in school full time, I thought I should have plenty of time each day to get my work done, keep the house running, do some small projects, exercise, and have time to read or just zone out each day.

Each day I would wake up, make the kids breakfast, put together their lunches, and get them out to the bus.  Then I sat down to my quiet time with God.  I have a few different journals to pray for my immediate family, a book I'm reading about praying more effectively, and I read a chapter from the Bible each day.  After about 45 minutes I'm ready to tackle the rest of the day.  I would check in on work email, delete personal emails (you know, the 9000 advertisements we get every day lest we actually need the discount once or twice a year), check our bank statement, then choose a job to work on.  This is where I started to fall into the mental block.  I only "need" to work about 3 hours each day to meet my self-imposed earnings for the month.  But with 2 jobs, I have been working closer to 5-6 hours each day.  I was losing all the time I thought I was entitled to.

And that's just the thing, what time am I entitled to?  Where did this notion come from?  We have amazing technology to help make so much of what we do more efficient.  But what are we doing with that extra time?  I have an addictive personality and I know it.  I have often tried to disguise this as putting my everything into anything I try.  And that is quite often the case.  But if I happen to open a computer game, this can be the end of the day for me.  Yet I can't quite bring myself to delete the games.

So this week I am trying a new mindset.  I am limiting my time on facebook, keeping the games closed, and making productive choices with my time.  Monday I went grocery shopping and didn't get all of my work done before the kids came home.  I was able to finish up before 8pm though so had an hour in the evening for myself.  I chose to talk some with Jon and read a book.  Much better than zoning out to a computer game.  Tuesday I switched the order of my jobs, completing the tasks that require the most focus first.  This proved to work well and although I didn't finish working until 30 minutes after the kids came home, they didn't even seem to notice.  They have become pretty self-sufficient with getting themselves a snack and unpacking their backpacks.  I chose to go for a 2 mile walk in between jobs since I can really only do this while the kids are at school.  I still had some work to do last night, but was done before the USWNT game was over.  This included a 45 minute conversation with my sister in the afternoon.

Speaking of that conversation, she convinced me to start writing again.  I have an alternate blog I am starting to put together where I'm going to write about all the tough moments I have been through since graduating from high school.  My hope is that some of the writing will help others facing seemingly insurmountable situations see how things will be okay in the end.  While the kids were at floor hockey I did some writing on my laptop.  I did some more writing before bed last night.

Today I did some writing while waiting for pages to load.  This probably made my work take longer, but I was having trouble making my brain stop.  I still managed to finish all my required work by noon and started in on the application process for my Utah and Alabama teaching certificates.  How is it that after over an hour I feel like I accomplished next to nothing?  Hopefully I will have more time in the next week to get everything sorted out before the fingerprint cards arrive.  I am hoping to have this all in the mail by spring break so I don't have to worry about it anymore.  The kids had an early release today, so I didn't end up with any extra time.  After they arrived home I spent some time cleaning in their toy room.  I put enough things away that they were able to finish before dinner.  I plan to really finish on Friday if I have some extra time.  But really, I only spent 15-20 minutes in there.  I sometimes need to just get over the mental block of tasks that seem so daunting.  If I just take the 15 minutes I have and use them productively, I can complete the seemingly endless list.  And reality is, you probably can to.  So what if the toy room didn't get finished today?  It is better than it was and I can continue in the right direction the next time I have a chance.

So for me, I am skipping the idea of "me time" because it just wrecks my day.  Instead, I'm focusing on productive time.  I will get my work done, enjoying the extra money to pay off our car super fast to open up our budget for fun vacations, upgrades to our home, and donations.  I'm going to enjoy my time I am so lucky to have with my family instead of stressing about how I don't have as much time as I would like.  We've set things up so our kids can have a relaxed childhood.  They get to come home every day and just play (after their 5-10 minute chores), and that's why I work from home.  We have been so amazingly blessed by God.  It's time to focus on the positive and how much we do have instead of how I wish things were.  I'm ready for the next adventure that God has for our family, as I'm sure it's a great one.

Whole 30 Day 26

I am fully in the home stretch now.  No more meals to plan even, as I will be done by the next grocery shopping day.  At that point I'll probably need to make some of the family favorites that were eliminated during this time.  Today was a pretty good day.  I got in some work this morning, started a batch of beef jerky, through in the laundry, and went to MOPs.  It was a fun meeting getting to listen how other moms are meeting this year's theme - celebrate lavishly, enjoy rest, and notice goodness.  I think I've been doing a pretty good job with these lately as well.  I have particularly made it a point to notice goodness in the last couple months.  I find myself pointing out flowers when I'm on walks with my kids.  And I am trying to just enjoy being with them.

This afternoon I had a quick lunch and then went for a walk.  After my first lap I ran into a neighbor.  She was taking her dog for a walk, so I went with her and we talked for a bit.  It was pretty nice to talk to someone I haven't seen in a bit due to the construction this fall and then the cold winter.  That's one of the nice things about Spring, it's brings everyone back outside again to see each other.  We're having a neighborhood Easter egg hunt next week which should be fun as well.  When the kids came home we played in the back yard for a bit.  I restrung the rebounder and they kicked/threw balls at it.  I sense it will get a lot of use this Spring/summer/fall, so long as we are sure to have some time at home.  We finished up the night at James' soccer, where he always has fun.  Next week is his last class though as we prepare to play AYSO and be outside again.

Breakfast - Eggs, spinach, orange
Lunch - Leftover casserole, banana
Dinner - Leftover chili, beer jerky, tea

Time to embrace some rest and go to bed.  Hoping the rain stays away tomorrow so we can enjoy some time playing.

Whole 30 Days 23-25

I am hanging tough.  This has been one busy week!  Tuesday night was Carolyn's first reconciliation.  It was an awesome service and the kids did so well.  My favorite part was the song they all sang together twice.  I could listen to little kids sings all day long I think.  The asst principal commented on Carolyn's leadership during the service as well, saying she was the first to start singing and the first to step into the aisle when they all needed to go up together.  It is so awesome to see the adults at her school recognizing her talents and abilities.  Both kids have crashed quickly the past 2 nights to make up for being up late on Tuesday.  Tuesday afternoon the weather was beautiful so I got to play ball with James in the yard while dinner cooked.  It's interesting to hear the things that wander through his head while playing catch.  He even started to learn some multiplication since he was asking about it.

Yesterday I went for another run and my ankle felt pretty good.  I skipped the brace since jogging is just a straight movement and I found my ankle felt better as I went.  I completed nearly 2 laps, jogging for 1 minute, walking for 1 minute for 10 minutes and then jogging for 1:15, walking for 0:45 for the next 10 minutes.  I felt pretty good afterwards, although I did ice when I got home.  Last night I had a MOPs steering meeting and beforehand I was lamenting how I was on day 24 and didn't feel like I saw any change in my body.  A couple people then said that they could see a change in my face.  So perhaps if I bother to put batteries in the scale when I reach day 30 I will notice a change in weight.  It was wonderful on Wednesday so I sent the kids outside to play ball while I finished dinner.  Before that they both helped chop vegetables for dinner.  It's so wonderful to see them helping more around the house.

Today was another good day.  I worked most of the morning, took a nice bath with the epsom salts, worked some more, and then went for a 2 lap walk.  It's nice to listen to KLOVE radio while I walk, streaming through my phone.  Tonight I played soccer and while my ankle is definitely sore now, I was able to play pretty much uninhibited.  I definitely need to keep running to get back in shape, but I think I'm pretty well beyond the injury stage, YAY!  I am definitely ready for a weekend with not much to do though.

Tuesday
Breakfast - Eggs fried in coconut oil, zucchini, fruit
Lunch - Leftover stir fry
Dinner - Lemon chicken, sweet potato "fries", cauliflower

Wednesday
Breakfast - Eggs, fruit
Lunch - Leftover chili
Dinner - Tex Mex Casserole (new recipe that was okay, but not a huge favorite, likely not worth the effort again)

Thursday
Breakfast - Eggs, fruit
Lunch - Leftover casserole
Snack - Banana, cashews
Dinner - Chicken spaghetti w/ zucchini noodles for me

Looking forward to a low key day.  Since I played soccer tonight I'm thinking I will not run tomorrow and instead walk and do some kettle bells.  I did some on Wednesday and got tired pretty fast.  Now time to crash and let my muscles recover.

Whole 30 Day 18

Another successful day!  I finished the majority of my work in the morning so after helping the 3rd graders I headed to the library.  I got the kids a new load of books and myself some too.  I stopped at the bank to order a new debit card since my replacement never arrived back in October.  And then I made it to Athletico.  The trainer did a bunch of different things to my ankle.  She used a vibrating tuning fork to check for a fracture.  That was interesting, but I think I get how it would work.  Part of what's strange about this injury is only one motion really hurts.  I can turn my ankle in and out, I can pull my toes up.  But I can not push with much force.  We even pinpointed that pushing with my big toe causes the most pain.  I've had a lot of sprained ankles in my life, but never pain in this manner.  She did say it makes sense that the air cast doesn't help much since the pain is forward/backward sensitive.  The ultimate decision is that this is muscle based.  So the solution was some kinesthiology tape for a little support, using the ace bandage as needed, and starting strengthening exercises.  I will start those tomorrow as tonight I'm in a bit of pain.  I think my gait has changed and as such muscles in my entire right leg are aching.  Carrying all of the library books probably didn't help either.  It's looking like I probably won't be able to play soccer this weekend either.  Hopefully I'll start to see improvement now since I have an idea of what I'm dealing with.

I received the results for James' Northwestern testing today.  With everything else going on I had forgotten I was expecting them!  When the email came in I was surprised.  And then I opened the attachment and I was even more surprised.  James scored in the 99.8 percentile for both math and reading on the KTEA!  No wonder he reports being a bit bored during math and reading lessons at school.  I kind of already knew this, but it's nice to have it verified.  He has been so excited this week to work on math homework that is challenging for him.  He finished a page of 3-digit addition and subtraction (no regrouping/borrowing) in about 15 minutes.  The smile he had on his face afterwards was awesome.  And he was so determined to get it done.  His KBIT score is pretty awesome too.  It's going to be fun to see where these 2 kids end up, knowing they both have a very good start.

I am officially ready for the weekend!

Breakfast - Eggs fried in coconut oil, beef jerky, strawberry, blueberry
Lunch - Leftover offal meatloaf, sweet potato fries, brocolli
Snack - grapes
Dinner - Chicken Tortilla-less soup

Whole 30 Day 6

Another awesome day with beautiful weather!  It was unseasonably warm today and we took nearly full advantage.  At 9:15 this morning, we got out the door to head to the park.  Of course, first we had to put air in the bike tires and raise James' seat.  Then we spent the morning at the park, playing soccer, playing basketball, and the kids poked around in a puddle for a while.  A couple of our neighbors met us there which was nice too.  At 11 we hurried home to change clothes and pack up for the rest of the day.  It was hard to pull the kids away from just playing with their friends.  But Carolyn had soccer at 11:45 and 12:30, then service buddies at the library at 2:30.  In between we had a picnic at the park and the kids played a bit.  James stayed at the park until 3:15.  It was so wonderful to be outside in the fresh air.  I am hoping this leads to great sleep tonight.  We finished the day with Carolyn singing in the children's choir for the 5pm mass tonight so bedtime is a bit late.  Fingers crossed!

Food was a little challenging for lunch today, so I chose just go on the lighter side.

Breakfast - 4 eggs fried in coconut oil, orange
Snack - Banana
Lunch - cashews, brazil nuts, 2 clementines
Dinner - pork chop, carrots dipped in guacamole

Almost completed a full week!  Tomorrow is a laid back day so staying on track should be pretty easy.  The first week of something new is supposed to be the hardest, right?  I did realize today that when it comes to playing with the kids, I am incredibly out of shape.  Carolyn is pretty fast on the basketball court so I need to get back to regular exercise so I can keep up.  Hopefully this change in diet will reset my body and I can lose weight will regaining some strength as the year goes on.

Whole 30 Day 4

I made it through another day.  I felt like I had lot of free time today.  Things didn't start out so great as I discovered at breakfast that the special tea I bought was the wrong stuff and it smells and tastes like coffee.  If you know me, you know I strongly dislike both.  So I guess this will become Jon's tea from now.  He's been stealing my plain green tea at night for a while anyway.  I'll have to look for something different when I head to the store next week.  With the weather warming up I don't really need it at the moment anyway.  I fit in all of my work before heading to the school.

At the school I was caught off guard by 2 things.  First, I usually help with math but today was handed a reading packet.  Um, okay, but that's definitely not my specialty.  We made it through.  While I was working with the kids the principal came in and acknowledged he had forgot to update me on the math things for Carolyn.  He assured me they were working on it and asked if I could stop by on my way out.  Last week was a 4 day week ending with an institute day and this week is a 4 day week.  I totally get how things get lost.  He was genuinely apologetic.  So when I was done tutoring, I stopped by.  Turns out, testing for Carolyn and another child in her class started just after we discussed doing so.  So as not to overwhelm, it has been broken into chunks and she wasn't even aware that she was being tested.  This is good and bad.  Carolyn tends to not even try when presented with a challenge.  She was told to leave things blank if she couldn't figure it out.  To my child that means "if you aren't sure of your answer, don't give one."  We'll see how the results turn out once they're done and determine what to do in the next couple months and then next year.  I love how wonderfully flexible the school is being.  And I think it's awesome that another child is benefiting from my relentless question asking.  We also talked about James a bit.  I relayed the experience of our conference last week, that did not go as well as I had hoped.  He agreed to speak with the teacher to see what we can do.  It will be interesting to see what happens here.  I mentioned that was a little surprised that James scored so well on his NU CTD tests, as he is just harder to get a good grasp on than Carolyn was at this age.  There's a little more immaturity from him and there's also a whole lot of boy that she's obviously missing.  I was surprised with the praise for James that the principal offered, saying that he wasn't surprised that he scored well.  This principal is very involved in the school and supervises recess multiple times a week.  If you know my kids, you know they are often drawn to adults and like to share a lot (earlier this week Carolyn shared about me being sick and the teacher signed her out for me - a little crazy.)  He commented that James is able to carry a conversation and discuss things much more in-depth than a kid his age.  I'm interested to see what the scores come back as.  And now I wonder what it would be like to be around a typically developing child on a regular basis.  Although, is any child really considered typical?  I think the water is really muddied here.  I am just so glad we found a place where the school wants to work with us to ensure that each child is challenged.  That's all I've really ever wanted - stretch their brains.

This afternoon I had a chance to go for a walk twice around our neighborhood and finished up James' scarf.  The kids each had their activities and then James and I came home.  After reading for a bit, he got ready for bed and we read another story.  He's really into this old Sesame Street Bedtime Stories book that is from my childhood.  All my favorite characters and wonderfully silly stores.  Big bird is not an ugly mud monster!  We finished before Jon and Carolyn arrived home so he asked to snuggle.  Snuggling turned into him clapping my hands and them a silly game.  I love listening to him laugh and I think I could do it all day.  I know moments like these will get fewer over the years and I really took a minute to cherish the time with him.  I'm looking forward to Carolyn being done with gymnastics so we can have more relaxed nights with her as well.

Breakfast - Egg "muffins" (bacon, green pepper, mushroom, egg), blueberries, banana, tea
Lunch - leftover mahi, carrots with guacamole
Dinner - Pulled pork, cauliflower

The cupcakes are almost gone and tomorrow I'll give the kids some more of my Valentines candy in their lunches.  I am looking forward to the warm weather we're supposed to have tomorrow and Saturday!

Awesome Kids, Whole 30 Day 1

It's been a LONG time since I wrote here.  A lot of life has happened and we've been very busy.  We have had a rough start to this year as far as health is concerned in our home.  We started off with Carolyn having pneumonia.  Once she started antibiotics, it was a pretty quick recovery.  But when we took her in her oxygen level was down to 84, which was quite scary.  A week after she recovered, I developed bronchitis.  That took a while to go away.  This past weekend James was up most of Friday night sick and spent all of Saturday in bed with stomach pains and a fever.  I then woke up Sunday night with the same thing and spent yesterday in bed.  Thankfully I am feeling much better today and have even been able to eat.

I have to spend some time talking about how amazing my kids are.  Jon left for a track meet yesterday at 5:30, so when the kids got up at 7:30 and 8 for a day off, they were disappointed to hear I was sick.  Luckily, we had planned to spend the day at home.  For breakfast they pulled the leftover oatmeal from the fridge and microwaved it themselves.  They then played nicely together all morning.  When Carolyn decided at 10 that she needed some space from James, she went to read in her bedroom and he did some building.  It was absolutely amazing.  At 11:30 they made themselves some lunch by taking out the leftover pizza from Sunday.  At 12:30 they both went into their rooms for quiet time and I took a nap.  While I am fully aware that James did not nap as I asked him to, they were both quiet until 2pm.  Then my MIL came over and kept them entertained.  I can firmly say that because my kids did such an awesome job of letting me rest yesterday I am feeling much better today.

I had decided a while ago to start the whole 30 the day after Valentine's day.  Being sick again within a month only served to magnify that my body needs some sort of a reset.  Day 1 was pretty easy since I couldn't really eat.  So here is what I had:
Orange
Banana
Leftover Chicken Soup - this didn't work out for my stomach
Pear
Tea - no honey
Jello - homemade, but slightly cheating since it was made with juice.  I needed something though and I was fairly certain this would stay down.

Finding Balance

This post has been a long time coming.  I've formulated it in my head several times, but never have the time to sit down and write it.  I've battled as to whether anyone would even want to read it.  But today I'm taking a few minutes to get everything down.  Today marks the end of the 4th week that the kids of have been in school.  Where could the time have possibly gone I wonder.  But when I review my time sheets and discover I've been working 20 hour weeks, once I add in exercising, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, and MOPs, it's not hard to figure out.  I am definitely looking forward to a slower pace once this month ends.

We have passed the 1 year anniversary of the tree landing on our roof.  Last night we had some bad storms and James and I definitely had trouble sleeping.  At one point he came into our room and climbed into bed and snuggled into my arms.  What's amazing is that I didn't even have to move, I was already laying in position for him to join me, as though God had orchestrated the whole thing.  We snuggled for a few minutes and then Jon took him back to his room.  We're moving forward though, and my trembling hands seem to shake a bit less with each storm.  Someday soon I also hope to be able to say that the repairs are fully completed.

I have been trying to take some more time for me this school year.  For the past 7 years I have really focused on the kids, squeezing in exercising, reading, and soccer if I could.  Now that they're older and in school all day, I have a bit more control over my time.  I've done a lot of research over the years about the best way to eat and the best way to exercise.  But honestly, nothing I've done ever seemed to work.  Lots of places seem to say that you should always lift heavy and running is unnecessary.  A person should be able to lose weight simply by walking and eating right, only lift once you have lost the weight.  That never quite sat right with me.  I have a lot of muscle mass from when I lifted in college.  If I start just walking, that muscle will likely turn to fat and then I have even more to lose.  And as much as I hate running, I want to be able to play soccer without worrying about conserving my energy.  Well, today I finished the C25K program.  In 30 minutes I only ran about 2.25 miles, but I did run the whole time and I ran somewhat quickly for 4.5 minutes of that.  Next week I'm starting the program over with a goal to pick up the pace throughout the entire thing.  I've also been lifting, but choose to do 8 reps in an attempt to focus on endurance rather than pure strength.  I was going to wait to post until Monday when I'll see how much weight I've lost.  But I don't really care about the number on the scale that much.  Today when I ran, I was able to pull my running pants over my stomach and it stayed the entire time.  Those of that are moms will understand how that is such great proof that something good is happening in my body.  So in case anyone is wondering, here's the program I've done for the last 3 weeks with the weights/reps from this week:

Mon: Week 9, Day 1 - Assisted pullups 3x8 - Bench 55, 60, 65; 8, 8, 15 - Leg lifts 11, 11, 13 - Press 45, 45, 50; 8, 8, 8 - Back Extensions 12, 12, 14
Tues: Walk ~2mi, Stretch 10 minutes
Wed: Week 9, Day 2 - Incline pullup 3x8 - Squat 60, 65, 70; 8, 8, 15 - Ball Tuck 10, 10, 14 - Hamstring Curls 16, 16, 24
Thurs: Walk ~2mi, Stretch 10 minutes
Fri: Week 9, Day 3 - Negatives 3x8 - Hang Clean 45, 55, 60; 8, 8, 12 - Pushup 9, 9, 11 - Bent Row 45, 55, 60; 8, 8, 12

The last set when lifting is always AMRAP/15 to help me determine how I should adjust the weight the next time.  I am still trying to determine where I should best be for bench and squat, but those have always been pretty strong for me.  It is nice to feel strong again without constantly being sore.  I was even able to work out today despite not sleeping great last night and having the beginning of a cold the last couple days.  I think the exercising is helping my body to fight off these germs.

Have a great weekend!  I hope to have more time to write in the coming weeks about everything else going on with our family.

Heartache

We had an amazing week last week and finished it up with an amazing weekend.  Carolyn only went to school 2 days last week, due to scheduled days off and then super cold (-6 before windchill!!) one day.  That one day was really great too.  We read a story and did follow-up activities, played a math game, played Sorry (kids' request), and then Carolyn did dreambox while I did James' usual preschool work.  Carolyn read 2-3 books that day as well, loving the freedom to sit lounge in her chair/on the couch/in her bed and read whatever she wanted.  She finished the day with a great effort at gymnastics.  On Saturday Carolyn attended her first chess tournament.  She did fantastic, winning 2 games and agreeing to a draw on a third (in which she was winning, she's too nice).  We were so proud of how she was able to concentrate in a gym filled with other kids.  She enjoyed some coaching from her chess teacher in between games, read a little and did some coloring.  We could tell she was mentally exhausted at the end of the day.  She sang at church that night, attended Sunday school in the morning, and basketball Sunday afternoon.  We hung out the rest of Sunday, reading together as a family and just enjoying being together.

At the end of dinner Sunday night is when heartache started to set in for me.  Jon reminded Carolyn she would need to make her lunch for school.  She went from smiling to a complete sullen look.  Jon suggested she was just tired after a busy weekend, she told me a few minutes later that she is just bored at school.  After preparations were done she played on dreambox for a bit while James was in the shower.  She craves learning at her just right level and soaks in all coaching she receives.

The next round of heartache was this morning.  I received an email from her teacher informing all the volunteers that we are no longer needed.  I knew it was coming, but didn't anticipate it so soon.  There are multiple reasons this email saddened me.  Beyond the fact that it means more time will spent on math and thus more time each day wasted for Carolyn, the response from Carolyn when I told her was the worst part.  I could tell that she was trying hard to not let any tears form.  In an attempt to not cry, she got angry, stating out loud that she doesn't understand why her teacher would do this.  She loves having me at school, she knows it's a portion of her day when the pressure is off and she can just sit and read.  And now that time is being replaced with extra math, one of the worst parts of her day at the moment.  I wasn't even sure what to say to her.  But it was really hard to bundle her up and put her on the bus this morning.

We received a response from the gifted coordinator last Thursday.  She spelled Carolyn's name wrong throughout the entire email.  I wanted to write a short response informing her that the email must have gone to the wrong parent.  How else can a professional explain repeatedly inserting the wrong name?  What's more, she didn't offer any solutions.  She offered several options for after school, clearly most were not well researched.  One option is the NU CTD she is already involved in.  She asked us what we want Carolyn to have access to at school.  Um, is that what she should be doing, letting us know what the options even are?  It's Monday night and we haven't received a response back.  If it takes a week again I'm going to get angry.  More time continues to be wasted, more time where Carolyn's view of school deteriorates,  Today she informed me that science is boring - I couldn't believe my ears.  The little girl who came home from her class on blood and bones this summer beaming?  The one who wants to know everything about the world around her... science is boring?  I talked to her about some activities we can do over spring break.  Now I'm thinking we might do one on Saturday morning if I can gather the materials in time.  I have to save her interest, I can't let school kill it.  Science is SO much more than reading books!

God is in control here, I just wish I could see the plan.  My heart is breaking a little more each day though with how it seems school is impacting Carolyn.  I feel helpless and don't know what else to do.  I know it will all work out, I just wish it would do so faster!

Another new normal

This was one crazy week.  Sunday we had one of the top 5 blizzards ever in Chicago, so my birthday plans were scrambled.  And Sunday night the week took a difficult turn, with news that my Grandfather was likely in his final 24 hours.  I didn't sleep much that night, waiting for the phone to ring with either news about my grandfather or that school was canceled.  At 5am the news about school being canceled came.  So I turned off my alarm and tried to get some sleep.  We had an okay day Monday, the kids enjoyed playing in the snow and we took our first ever trip to a sledding hill.  What else is there to do with powdery snow?  They had a blast and we had to bring them home for dinner before any complaints of being cold even started.

I decided to head for bed early Monday, falling asleep well before 9pm.  Around 9:30 I awoke to what I thought was my cell phone.  Only half awake, I couldn't remember where I had placed it and then it stopped ringing.  But then the house phone rang.  When I saw Dave's number, I knew what news was coming.  He let me know that Grandpa was finally in peace.  I like to envision a party up in heaven as he joined my mom and grandma, as well as his parents and brother-in-law.  Dave and I spoke briefly, both of us being weary from the past 24 hours.  I tried to go back to sleep but my mind raced.  About 10 my sister called to see how I was doing.  We both agreed the feelings were mixed, with a sadness that he's no longer there to talk to, but happy that he's no longer uncomfortable.

Sleep would be elusive for the rest of the week, as we also continue our battle with the school regarding Carolyn.  I will miss my grandfather greatly.  I am so glad we went out to Colorado this summer to give the kids more memories of their great grandfather.  I am so glad we have many items around the house that are memories of him, made by his hands.  These things will forever be treasured.  I have been looking at his picture nightly that sits in our bedroom, a picture of him "young" in my mind, blue work shirt that he seemed to always wear.  I can still picture him working in our garage, whistling as he made new folding tables, footstools, or other wood projects.  I hope we can pass on some of those skills to our children as they grow older.  I made coffee cake in honor of all the times he would stop at the Entemann's store and being us 2-3 boxes yesterday.  I am so glad to have so many memories of such a wonderful man.

We have had many times of a new normal in the past 6 months, and now we enter into another new normal.  This one with a little sadness in our hearts that will heal with time.  And during this time of sadness we'll try to remember all the wonderful memories we made with a wonderful man.  I'll never forget how he seemed to constantly tell us how terrible the world has become, how things were better when he was a kid.  As I get older I wonder if that is what everyone says.  It does seem that a lot of our "improvements" only seem to make life more difficult.  We're all weathering this well though, it's hard to remain sad for too long when someone lives for nearly 97 years.  What an amazing life he lived.  I wish I could have been up in heaven with him to see the party they had in his honor.  He will be missed here and I look forward to seeing him again (although hopefully not for many years).

Feel like I missed something

Jon is going to meet with Carolyn's teacher via a phone call tomorrow to discuss what can be done for her at school.  I have been listening to a lot of comments about boredom and how she wishes things were different lately.  In preparation for the meeting, we wanted to be sure we're on the same page and know out options.  So I went looking around the district website tonight.  I found 2 things that are somewhat scary to me.  First, all discussion of any accelerated/gifted math is gone.  There is no discussion about any way to service kids that are above grade level for math.  All criteria to qualify for the gifted program is now IQ and reading/language related.  As the mother of a first grader that is grasping multiplication and division concepts, this is almost terrifying.  We have emailed the person in charge to find out what is going on with the math.  Second, I found the cut off scores for screening for the gifted program.  They don't want to spend the money to administer an IQ test to every kid, so they use some of the MAP scores and CogAt.  Well, they start taking the MAP in first grade.  Carolyn took it this September, after having lived in the hotel for at least 2 weeks.  And she scored 11 points shy of the cut-off.  They look at the scores kids receive during the fall of their 3rd grade year.  Her projected score for the end of first grade is in fact 3 points above the cut-off.  But she's receiving no special services at all and from what we can tell, no differentiation.  She scored 30pts above the district mean.

I'm feeling like a terrible parent tonight as I look at all of this.  How could I have not realized what it meant when I saw these scores?  How could I have not been pushing earlier this year to get her what she needed?  Yes, we were living in the hotel, but I can only imagine how much higher those initial scores might have even been if we weren't at the time.  I don't know what to do at this point.

God, this is in Your hands.  We need Your guidance to show us what needs to be done for Carolyn to complete Your will in her life.  Give Jon the words to express our concerns tomorrow.  Show us what direction we need to move in next.  You have given Carolyn some amazing talents and we want to ensure that nothing is wasted.  Thank You for all of the wonderful blessings You have bestowed upon our family.

Week 1 complete!

Can you believe that today completes the first week of the year?!  It feels like just yesterday we were celebrating Christmas.  Of course, we did just take down the tree and decorations today.  The living room feels so spacious without the tree.  We haven't had the furniture in this configuration with the construction completed and no tree yet, so it's strange to have it gone.  At the moment a stack of bins is in the tree's place until the temperature gets a level which carrying them out and unlocking the shed won't require thawing out afterwards.  Even the fireplace seems barren without the garland, stockings, and nativity.  But it's very nice to feel the extra space and I will no longer have to worry about James knocking over the tree riding his tricycle or Carolyn doing a cartwheel into the tree.

School was canceled today due to the cold.  This is just crazy to me, I think we might have had 1 snow day in all my elementary/high school days combined.  We'll be home again tomorrow as well.  I anticipated having tomorrow off, so we spent the morning at the library and picked up craft sticks at Joann's this morning.  Tomorrow morning we'll work on Carolyn's log cabin and James' farm as we complete their KWL sheets.  They are enjoying learning about a topic chosen themselves and getting to make a project from it.

At the library I realized why Carolyn will always be ahead of grade level in math.  Her brain works like mine and she wants to know things.  The library has various puzzles set out to complete, mostly for toddlers.  She sat down in front of a 6 piece police car puzzle just before we left and took 3 pieces out, then declared it was half a car.  I asked her why she thought that.  This led to a 5-10 minute discussion of fractions, wherein she moved puzzle pieces around and thought about how 2 pieces in is 2/6 or 1/3, 3 pieces in is 1/2 and 4 pieces in is 4/6 or 2/3.  She did the division of 6/2 easily, really without realizing that is somewhat of an advanced concept.  This may not be a normal discussion for a parent to have with a child, but she craves these sorts of interactions and initiates them herself.  She would be an ideal candidate for unschooling.  The pile of books we brought home from the library is awesome - she wants to know about pioneers, presidents, and some random archduke because she was interested in the name.  Then she chose a pile of chapter books and picture books.  During quiet time today she read 2 of the chapter books and a few others throughout other parts of the day.  I'm looking forward to working with her tomorrow.

I have made 2 more new recipes this week.  Monday was our typical standby of homemade pizza which we've enjoyed as leftovers for lunch the last 2 days.  Tuesday we tried lemon chicken which does not seem to be a family favorite.  James stated it was too sour and didn't eat much.  So it likely won't be repeated for some time.  Today I made beef and pumpkin stew which was really good, but Jon did not appreciate the pumpkin taste.  I thought it was great, so I might try to tweak this by swapping the pumpkin with something else.  I'm not typically a fan of stews, but this kind of hit the spot.  Tomorrow we're doing an old favorite sweet potato hash.  My body seems to definitely by adjusting to no sugar.  I find that I have more energy and am sleeping a bit better.  I can't wait to see this weekend if it's also leading to some weight loss.  The pile of cookies on the counter does keep calling my name, but at this point I seem to be able to avoid them.  This weekend I think it's all going to be thrown out since it's old anyway.  Great to be getting good food in and starting to feel better!

Happy New Year!

So begins 2015.  So many promising possibilities as we head into a new year.  Everything with the house is nearly done and it is becoming evident how we have been strangely blessed through the whole situation.  We met some amazing people while living in the hotel and became aware of how wonderfully resilient our children are.  We have also been blessed financially, paying off our equity loan and at the moment not having to take anything back out.  This is truly amazing to me, since there was over $8k on the loan in September.  God has truly blessed our family, even if life was tough for 3 months.  By trusting in Him and working hard we have truly come out on the other side stronger than before.

Most set new years resolutions as they enter the new year.  I have a few things I'm setting my sights on and I think are attainable.

1.  Read the Bible every day.  I have been requesting some books about praying for my children and started making progress on this last week.  I have been reading daily devotionals for a couple months now.  Today I signed up through www.biblestudytools.com to send me some themed passages to read each day.  The goal is to read through the entire Bible in 1 year.  I'm going to try and do this in the morning, but will commit to read before bed each night when the morning doesn't work.

2.  Get healthy.  With all the junk food we were forced to eat this Fall and sugar I've had since baking for Christmas, I feel sick.  I have a lot of pain in seemingly random parts of my body.  The good news is that my daily headaches have subsided since being home,  This month I am going to avoid added sugars to detox and see if I can shed some weight and feel better.  I'm thinking I might even make an appointment this summer to start a relationship with a doctor.

Here we go, ready for the new year!  Trusting in God to guide us down the right paths in this new year.

Missing Mom

We had a wonderful few days of Christmas celebrations.  I finished up baking on Christmas Eve.  My dad and Patty joined us for birthday cake, mass, and dinner.  We put out cookies and milk for Santa, wrapped presents and set everything out.  The kids loved everything they received, with a yo-yo making the top 3 for James.  It's so funny what they end up liking the most.  Everyone is enjoying the used Wii, the sports games are a big hit.  Christmas day was great with Jon's parents and some friends over.  We enjoyed mostly just relaxing and chatting.  It was a different Christmas day, but it was really nice.

Today was mostly a day of recovery, the kids played with their new things and I tried to figure out what to do with some of my retirement accounts.  But this afternoon we started some of the cleaning out that needs to be done.  During this I pulled everything out of the overflowing magazine rack that holds the kids' drawing stuff.  I asked them to go through everything (they aren't done yet).  Carolyn did a great job looking through things and deciding what she wants to keep.

While Carolyn was going through the large pile, she came across the speech a good friend made at mom's funeral.  Just reading the first few words I knew it was from Marianne.  Tears filled my eyes without even reading it.  I set it to the side and finished working on the pile in front of me.  Then I sat down to read it through and reminisce on the wonderful relationship they had.  I was reminded of my wonderful mother and saddened that she can't be here to watch my children grow up.  I was reminded of some of the great friendships my mom developed and part of me longs to develop some of those types of relationships.  Now that the kids are growing it should get easier.  Mostly today, I miss my mom.  Much of the holiday season is filled with memories of her as I bake the same things she baked (with tweaks to make them gluten free) and the house is filled even more with reminders of her.  I know she's watching us from heaven and I know she is so proud of her grandchildren.  But it's still hard that I can't call her on the phone, that I can't give her a hug, that James and Carolyn will never feel her warm embrace.

And then there's reality of my own unknown future.  As we near a new year, I see some challenges with my own health that lie ahead.  The headaches that plagued me this fall have gone away, which is excellent.  But the dizziness is still strong and I can't figure out how to get rid of it.  I have to work this year to not only lose the weight I was working on in August, but the extra weight from 3 months of restaurant food.  Hopefully that can relieve the joint aches and the dizziness.  I'll go low sugar again starting next Thursday.  And hopefully I'll see the changes I need.  Thinking about my mom always reminds me of how young she was and I was when she passed away.  Of course, if I make it to 57 James would be 30 since I just have the 2 kids and we started young.  But I would still miss a lot.  Maybe if I can lose a good amount of this weight I'll even head into the doctor this summer to start a relationship back up.  For now I need to take things into my own hands and do what I know needs to be done to start feeling better.  The first step is to start getting better sleep.  So off to bed I will be in a short bit.

I love you, Mom.  Thanks for watching over us.

Taking Less for Granted

One of the things that I have definitely learned from this fall is to cherish everything around me a bit more.  I am focusing on being more present with my family.  I am choosing what activities are most important and enjoying just being so much more.  After the stress of trying to control a 4 and 6 year old in a hotel for nearly 3 months, I find myself much calmer.  We have a lot less chaos around here and everyone seems to be a bit calmer.  I hope we can hold onto these feelings as we plunge back into life.

I have found myself a great deal more patient with the children.  Partially because I realize how hard it was for them to be out of the house and their neighborhood for so long.  And partially because I think this whole ordeal has made me more patient.  I am now focusing more on God and how to show His love to those around us.  Christmas is even going to look a bit different this year as we open our home to friends that don't have other family nearby.  I am really looking forward to a relaxed celebration where we can all visit and celebrate God's love.

So as much as I hated living in a hotel for 3 months and the time we seemed to have lost while there, we have gained so much from this experience.  I've always known that God works in mysterious ways and this is the most mysterious of all.  But I know God is in control and all is good.  I'm looking forward to 16 days to relax with my family starting Friday about 4pm.

Anyone that is looking for somewhere to be on Christmas, please let me know.  We're happy to have anyone join us as long as we know before we buy the food.