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Sunday, November 9, 2014

Things Not to Say

For the most part everyone has been great through all of this.  But something at MOPs on Friday got Jon and I thinking about all of the responses we've received.  It's very clear that nobody really knows how to respond.  The best is when James tells someone (generally a stranger) that we're living in a hotel because a tree fell on our house.  The adult naturally looks at me like "What an imagination he has, that can't be true?"  And I step in for a moment and let them know that unfortunately what he's saying is exactly right.  There are a few responses, some we heard multiple times that are not only unhelpful but even somewhat frustrating.  Now, we're not keeping track of who says what and my goal here is not to make people feel bad.  But honestly, there are some things that are really frustrating to hear right now.  If you don't know what to say, sometimes the best thing is just to be honest and let the person know you can't relate.  I'm finding this applies to so many things in life.

1)  I remember when we did our house remodel, that was hard.  (Gee, was that by choice?  Did you have time beforehand to prepare?  Did you get to choose the time of year to start the project?  Did you get to work out the details of where you would live instead of being at the mercy of the insurance company?  Did you pay to replace something and then have it destroyed less than 2 months later?  Self-inflicted remodel projects have many pieces that we're without.)

2)  At least you have a pool.  (I get it, trying to find the positive.  When you stay in a hotel, the pool is generally great.  But when you still have to live the rest of life, you don't get a chance to use the pool.  We're lucky if we can find an hour or so on Sat/Sun to enjoy the pool.  And since 1 of our kids isn't tall enough to stand in more than the very corner, it's really not relaxing.)

Best things we've heard?
1)  Wow, that must be really hard.
2)  I don't know what to say, I've never been through anything like that.
3)  So glad to hear you're all okay, that must have been scary.

God is in control here, He's going to get us to where we need to be.  I'm amazed by the insights into various things that I've gained through this experience.  We are very ready to be home and continue to pray that in 2 weeks I can be in my own bed and my own house.  Hoping the snow can hold off until then!

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